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Rift120
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Two Star Sneetch
Posts: 53
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« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2018, 08:16:08 pm » |
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this looks interesting. I know you write hot stuff Daphne... and now a mirror of change.
or perhaps this is the mirror from the carnival ? I mena we've ahd the chysalis and the hairdryer stories show up... which only left the mirror that transformed the secretary/librarian in that story missing....
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Haight
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Five Star Sneetch
Posts: 2060
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« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2018, 01:31:32 am » |
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It's kind of a problem with these short stories... there's never enough time to explain what's actually going on, and I have a really hard time caring about characters who just exist for one issue and who don't really have any characterization. And these are padding out weeks from the stories that people *do* care about. Yeah, there was erotic art, and (maybe?) mind control. Definitely transformation. But it seems to have fallen flat, for me.
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"And I want to reach in to the fire of your heart/I want to program all those beats right from the start"
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grimtidings
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Three Star Sneetch
Posts: 137
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« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2018, 06:20:09 am » |
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Agreed 100% Haight.
So here's my guess at what's going on:
Barbara is a mousy shut-in writer who really wishes she could look like an elven porn star (she probably writes boring copy for a living but super-hot elf fanfics for fun/side-hustle). She hears a rumor about a magical mirror in that old antique shop: and she's unhinged enough to try it. Surprise - it works.
Maybe it takes place in the same world as Netflix's Bright. But I won't take it there. Ugh.
I can actually like Barbara, in my imagination. But find the after version kinda gross (not visually, artwork is fine, but she basically got magical massive plastic surgery to meet an unrealistic ideal). I guess she just wanted to be elven-eyecandy after writing about it so much?
Can't see this as mind control at all, though. She entered a deal and is paying it off. I think I'd have liked it better if she got her (yuck) dream fulfilled but then DIDN'T read the fine print and was serving a geas or something (I've been re-reading Lemma the Librarian over at EMCSA - geas galore over there). Maybe that's what's really happening but the fair exchange overrides the vaguely blank stare and "How may I please you sir?" at the end.
All that said - there's bound to be someone in the target audience for this so I'll hesitate to call it padding, outright. Maybe the shop-owner fits into one of the other arcs and this is just his intro story? I could imagine an antique store owner as a sort of "careful what you wish for" hook to ensnare the unwary. Fantasy World is one kind of Twilight Zone, this guy could be the start/a part of another.
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If you love something, analyze it and share.
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Daphne
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Five Star Sneetch
Posts: 4466
Drawn and Quartered.
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« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2018, 08:14:07 am » |
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All that said - there's bound to be someone in the target audience for this so I'll hesitate to call it padding, outright.
Along with "Homecoming," it's one of my favorite pieces on the site, so the primary audience of one is very pleased with it.  |
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hereno
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Four Star Sneetch
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aMember user
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« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2018, 10:05:48 am » |
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Can't see this as mind control at all, though.
Yeah, it's not. It's either possession (the elf is coming through the mirror to possess her body) or mind alteration (shy bookworm turned into porn elf), but it isn't control. I don't mind one-off stories, but I agree that this one fell flat for me. |
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laguna85
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Five Star Sneetch
Posts: 2620
She in deep sleep
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« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2018, 02:22:20 pm » |
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need more balloon Text
Pop, boning, oo, ah, bang, batman stuff but sexily
One more page.
text for hair poof away
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« Last Edit: February 28, 2018, 02:42:21 pm by laguna85 »
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GodWilling
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« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2018, 02:58:44 pm » |
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« Last Edit: September 24, 2019, 11:46:56 am by GodWilling »
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grimtidings
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Three Star Sneetch
Posts: 137
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« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2018, 04:02:09 pm » |
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All that said - there's bound to be someone in the target audience for this so I'll hesitate to call it padding, outright.
Along with "Homecoming," it's one of my favorite pieces on the site, so the primary audience of one is very pleased with it. Just went to re-read Homecoming. You know what - thank you for catering to a wide array of tastes. What I get out of the pair of these stories is subtle, mysterious control leading to a sexy outcome where discovering what it's all about is central to the enjoyment. By comparison, my own tastes are of the sledgehammer variety and you bake those with just as much effectiveness, leavened with dashes of subtlety and mystery to keep things interesting. Upon reflection, definitely not padding. |
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If you love something, analyze it and share.
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Daphne
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Five Star Sneetch
Posts: 4466
Drawn and Quartered.
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« Reply #9 on: February 28, 2018, 04:03:33 pm » |
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Don't worry, another issue of "By the Book" will be coming. (And remember, I write that one too, so I have a pretty wide range of tastes in the MC fetish...) |
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radouigi
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Two Star Sneetch
Posts: 47
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« Reply #10 on: February 28, 2018, 04:52:10 pm » |
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I liked this one and see mental re-writes as within my definition of mind control even if it is Barbara controlling herself, which is my personal interpretation. There's always the chance her invented personality takes things further than she intended. Though even if it was possession by say one of her characters, that again suits my fairly broad tastes for mind control.
My observation though is that I was really excited to see thick pubic hair on Barbara, so of course that disappeared very quickly. Variety is super important to me, so this has made me aware there might be a less-bodyhair-bias on the site as a whole? Anyway, I liked this one and one never knows when a "padding" type story could turn into the next big series so I appreciate experimenting with them--even if I have to fill in gaps for characters and setting in my own head. My thoughts anyway.
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ozymandias
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Four Star Sneetch
Posts: 400
Llama llama duck
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« Reply #11 on: March 03, 2018, 08:11:09 am » |
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While I rather liked this piece, I didn't find it erotic (which is fine). In addition, I think it needs a short story instead of a comic. The vast majority of what's going on seems to be going on in Barbara's mind--that's really hard to do in a comic.
The great comic, in my opinion, lurks in the shopkeeper and what sorts of artifacts, including the mirror, that he has, and what they do.
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