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Author Topic: Report inconsistencies, bugs, typos etc. here.  (Read 19105 times)
Daphne
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Drawn and Quartered.


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« Reply #90 on: June 09, 2025, 07:12:39 am »

In the path posted by BenHur in the flow thread, you propsition Lorelie twice back to back and get the identical rejection.  This is in response to both "I would like to focus on the woman in front of me. Shall we...?" and "Well, we'll see if she gets back in touch. Now, shall we...?"

Thanks!
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Daphne
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Drawn and Quartered.


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« Reply #91 on: June 09, 2025, 07:13:48 am »

When MCing Allison at the beginning of Ch. 5…


Relationship Goals
Later that night, you awaken...
⇝ The next morning at breakfast...
Allison's at the table when you come...
⇝ "What do you think I'm doing to you?"
"Like... the slave thing... you and...
⇝ "You've seemed to be really enjoying it."
"Like... the slave thing... you and...
⇝ "I can tell this is scary for you. Deep breaths. Relax."
"Like... the slave thing... you and...
⇝ "Just focus on how good it felt. Don't think about anything else."
"Like... the slave thing... you and...
⇝ "Then don't think. Just breath and relax."

Should be “breathe”

Thanks!
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Bob42
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« Reply #92 on: June 22, 2025, 11:21:01 am »

In the below path you are only talking about Annie and Allison being your slave. The pronouns don't agree.

""Let's talk about Annie."
"Annie?"
"It's OK with you if I fuck Annie."
"Um... I... not sure..."
"It turns you on that she will be my slave."
"But... I don't... please..." You got a bit ahead of yourself about some of them being your slaves, but..."


Starter Marriage
   
A Phone Pings
   ⇝ Sneak a peak at the screen after sliding in.
You slowly stroke in and out of...
   ⇝ This can be dealt with later.
She looks back questioningly...
   ⇝ Keep going, but slow down and delay your orgasm.
Allison always seems to be hunting...
   ⇝ This is perfect, just the right speed... keep going.
Allison does need a lot of foreplay...
   ⇝ Let the orgasm happen; you know she likes it when you come in her.
You give a low moan as you come...
   ⇝ "My weird ex. Now, we both have big days tomorrow."
You have an erotic dream that night...
   ⇝ The next morning you get up a bit earlier than usual.
Memory Lane
   
Allison is already up and out of bed...
   ⇝ You find one that reminds you of that time with the guy in the bar.
The two of you were hanging out in a...
   ⇝ OK time for breakfast.
At breakfast, Allison asks, "So...
   ⇝ Call a friend who might know what's up.
To your amazement, Lorelei actually...
   ⇝ See what you can find on the Internet.
There isn't much. She didn't change...
   ⇝ Unfortunately you have to get to work.
Just as you sit down at work, you...
   ⇝ Yeah, kinda still pissed. What's up?
Sorry I couldn't pick up earlier...
   ⇝ The guy you left me for?
Sorry I couldn't pick up earlier...
   ⇝ So, why get in touch now?
Sorry I couldn't pick up earlier...
   ⇝ I need to talk with my GF first.
Sorry I couldn't pick up earlier...
   ⇝ Then you call Allison.
"Really? She wants you to go to her...
   ⇝ After work, you head home.
You arrive back at the apartment...
   ⇝ Time for bed.
"Another long day tomorrow," you...
   ⇝ The next morning you wake up alone.
The Butterfly Effect
   
The Butterfly Effect
   ⇝ You check your phone.
Any news?
   ⇝ I still can't believe you're asking after what you did.
Any news?
   ⇝ It's a bit late for make-up sex.
Any news?
   ⇝ Isn't there someone else who could help?
Any news?
   ⇝ I can't hurt my girlfriend.
Any news?
   ⇝ I've told her I'm not going.
Any news?
   ⇝ Is us being lovers again really on offer here?
Any news?
   ⇝ If I'm going to risk it, I need an explicit commitment.
Any news?
   ⇝ I can't turn that down. I'll come.
Any news?
   ⇝ And then you text Lorelei.
Hey. Can we get together today? I...
   ⇝ It's about us.
Hey. Can we get together today? I...
   ⇝ I am going to ask Allison for an open relationship.
Hey. Can we get together today? I...
   ⇝ Perfect. See you then.
Hey. Can we get together today? I...
   ⇝ And then you call Allison.
"Hi!" she says. She sounds very...
   ⇝ ... head off to work.
You sit down in your cube. The...
   ⇝ "Wanted to remind them I work here. What are you up to?"
You sit down in your cube. The...
   ⇝ "She's doing great! How's... I'm sorry, I've forgotten his name."
You sit down in your cube. The...
   ⇝ "Oh, I'm sorry!"
You sit down in your cube. The...
   ⇝ "What happened?"
You sit down in your cube. The...
   ⇝ "We should grab coffee sometime. Away from work."
You sit down in your cube. The...
   ⇝ "Of course! I think you two would get along great."
You sit down in your cube. The...
   ⇝ And then you get back to work.
You can smell a hint of Emma's...
   ⇝ And then you work until it's time for your date with Lorelei.
You and Lorelei have been friends...
   ⇝ You bring up Emma.
She listens to your retelling of...
   ⇝ "I'm stalling, though. The situation with Annie..."
She listens to your retelling of...
   ⇝ "I don't know. But it's very appealing."
She listens to your retelling of...
   ⇝ "It would be complicated, but worth it."
She listens to your retelling of...
   ⇝ "Allison seems to be more open-minded lately."
She listens to your retelling of...
   ⇝ "She is strangely accepting of me seeing Annie."
She listens to your retelling of...
   ⇝ "Around you, I am not that trustworthy."
She listens to your retelling of...
   ⇝ "Oh, by the way, we're having dinner with Renée and her boyfriend tonight."
She listens to your retelling of...
   ⇝ You give her a chaste kiss, take your leave, and head home.
When you get home, to make your way...
   ⇝ You help her up, and head to dinner.
You help Allison into her coat...
   ⇝ You knock.
You really do like Dante and Renée...
   ⇝ "Shall we?" as you offer Allison your arm.
Renée bustles off to the kitchen as...
   ⇝ You return to the subject of Renée's boobs.
As soon as Renée joins you, you...
   ⇝ As the evening winds down, you say your goodbyes.
As you walk to the car, your eye is...
   ⇝ You turn to point her out to Allison.
The Girlfriend Experience
   
You turn to Allison. "Look. Over...
   ⇝ You head to the car.
You get to the car, and open the...
   ⇝ "Is everything OK? You've been a little different these days."
There's a pause, and you can see her...
   ⇝ You finish the drive home.
As you come in the door, you feel...
   ⇝ Head to the bathroom to check your phone.
You pull out your phone. Annie's...
   ⇝ ... join Allison in the bedroom.
She's already naked in bed when you...
   ⇝ "I have something I want to do to you."
She has a particular weakness for...
   ⇝ "Let's talk about Annie."
She has a particular weakness for...
   ⇝ "It's OK with you if I fuck Annie."
She has a particular weakness for...
   ⇝ "It turns you on that she will be my slave
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Daphne
Publisher
Five Star Sneetch
*****
Posts: 4653


Drawn and Quartered.


WWW
« Reply #93 on: June 22, 2025, 12:01:46 pm »

Thanks!
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