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Author Topic: The Pool of Dr Viagari #2  (Read 17903 times)
Daphne
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Drawn and Quartered.


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« on: May 24, 2015, 12:46:55 pm »

So, about that pool...



Written by Bill Pratt, art by SAM!
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jmundt29
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« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2015, 09:06:04 pm »

Is the "your" an "our"?  Is there a third musketeer she's looking at across the pool or down the edge farther?  She's fuming in an entertaining way, but it doesn't really look like she's engaging the person behind her.  The explanation that calms her down could be quite amusing. Wink
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Geo
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« Reply #2 on: May 25, 2015, 08:35:27 am »

Muhuhahahahahahahaha!
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DeltaDelta
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« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2015, 01:22:57 am »

Ok, just read the comic and over all its great, buuuttt...

Is it just me or is the lay out on page 6 a little...choppy? You don’t get a clear flow of events through the page, which seeing as its dead centre of the transformation scene is a problem as that derails things a bit.

A more general concern was that fact that Jess was already firmly into the “WOW/WTF” range in terms of her pre-transformation figure/look; I was a bit worried about it in chapter one, but deicide to wait and see, but just as I feared it made the transition less distinct and diluted the impact a bit.

Jess before the transformation could still have been better endowed than her friend, even by a large degree, but still stayed on this side of “the line”, which would have made the transformation POP more once she surged past it. As that wasn’t the case their needed to be some really distinct unmissable change; her figure is already pretty extreme so it becoming more so doesn’t really slap you in the face as much as it might normally do...maybe instead of a little hair growth you could have had hair that cascaded right down to her ankles...or had a really extreme change in colour...something visual and VERY obvious to grab hold of anyway...

Jess already had unfeasibly large breasts, a significant booty and full lips...yes her waist also pulls in, but the transformation is really just an exaggeration of and already extremely exaggerated figure so it loses some of its punch...the Doctor who turns up at the end, June, also already has a pretty OTT look, if she gets transformed (or the Mom, or whoever else) there needs to be some clear difference between the pre and post transformation look to really make it distinct...

Just to finish off, despite all my whining I really do like the comic (through you really should look at Pages 5 through 7 Wink)
« Last Edit: June 10, 2015, 01:26:53 am by DeltaDelta » Logged
DeltaDelta
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« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2015, 01:30:26 am »

*Sigh* Just to be sure, if you count the cover the Page I have concern with is number 7, if you don't its number 6  Roll Eyes
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Geo
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« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2015, 09:02:54 am »

Crap. Looks like S.A.M. didn't get the last set of revisions. I'd mixed up the girl's names for that particular panel in the earlier drafts.
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GodWilling
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« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2015, 10:25:14 am »

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« Last Edit: September 24, 2019, 10:45:30 am by GodWilling » Logged
DeltaDelta
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« Reply #7 on: July 04, 2015, 01:58:35 pm »

her figure is already pretty extreme so it becoming more so doesn’t really slap you in the face as much as it might normally do...

You can try telling her that when she gets off the trampoline.

Yes but she would have had pretty much the same problem with that trampoline even before the transformation...
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GodWilling
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« Reply #8 on: July 04, 2015, 02:26:38 pm »

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« Last Edit: September 24, 2019, 10:45:53 am by GodWilling » Logged
Snake
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« Reply #9 on: October 15, 2015, 07:18:18 pm »

comming a issue 3?  Huh
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