Pwned #2

[Daphne]

Coming soon!

[Daphne]

The tale continues, as Lindy and company find themselves falling further under Seeker's influence...surely Chuck can't mess this up. Can he?



Coming February 22nd!

[jmundt29]

The art is great.  Will this issue have more connective material so the audience (well, me) isn't befuddled?  I remember it took several issues before SJI, my current favorite on the site, heated up.

[laguna85]

what Seeker's influence on the women  
I know he put then high drive on sex
Girl need the sex for day to day thing.
I need more to see if i going like it story

[laguna85]

Yes tomorrow we get to see

[raven]

That was an interesting twist 

[Chettbaker]

Favorite part/turn on was seeing her ordered to get fast food dressed iin the harem/genie costume (her wearing the glasses while wearing the outfit was also cool in a subtle reminder of her true character way)

Great Story !

[laguna85]

So a program want see what love is, it reporgram or (hypnosis) there mind.  There subconscious mind to love and obey to order.
Bad for Todd not been a good Proxy. I bet Todd want to be the master.
Look like all the Women inthe town is under the control of the Computer.
  this comics may put a viral into ladys computer and take control of your love.

I with (Chettbake) harem/genie costume is great
the car wash was out world.

[powerpossum]

Thanks, guys! I'm really pleased you liked the story...there will be more coming up soon from Sefra, so keep an eye out for him!

[downer]

Chuck turned out to be a bit of an asshole. I really didn't like him. Though I suppose having absolute power has a way of making people into jerks. :p

Interesting twist though. Definitely unexpected.

[jmundt29]

Chuck demonstrates the perils facing Daffid and Adrian in other long-running comics.  He is what not to become.  Seeker's true identity was an interesting twist.  A H.A.L. for the real twenty-first cientury, but...more of a great concept joke.

[stormrazor2000]

I really debated posting this as it's very subjective opinion. However I felt I needed to offer what might be constructive criticism that could help a talented author. The bottom line is that this story was not only a total miss with me, but I actively disliked it. I was good with going along with the first issue, but the second one ruined the story for me.  Examining my feelings on it I've come to a conclusions as to why.

There is absolutely nobody in the story that I really felt a shred of empathy for. I never even felt any real sympathy for the victims. In fact I really couldn't care less what happened to any of them. In these comics the MCer or those that benefit from the MC obviously have an evil side to control someone against their will. But there is typically something redeeming about them. I find I need that so that I can connect to them on some level. Otherwise instead of the story fueling my fantasies, it makes me recoil.

While in this story the AI was the MCer, those that benefited from the MC were the absolute dregs of humanity. Drunk, abusive and exploiting dregs. Sorry, but there nothing erotic about that at all. While I think there is a place for a truly evil MCer, a story like that should at least feature a positive counterpart. SJI is a good example of this with Derik being offset with Adrian.

So to sum up, the story and twist was interesting, but the characters and tone ruined for me what otherwise might have been a great story.

[powerpossum]

Hi Stormrazor,

You, Jmundt, and Downer are all right - Chuck is a deliberately unsympathetic character. He's a powerless loser when the story starts, and once he gains some power, he doesn't do anything with it but become a bigger loser. That part was intentional...maybe not attractive, but intentional. Dave isn't abusive, but he's certainly no prize either. Same goes for Todd.

As a story on a porn site, the point of Pwned was ultimately to titillate - and in that regard, for you, it failed - I'm sorry you didn't find it appealing and I'll take your comments on board for my approach to future scripts. I understand completely about finding it difficult (impossible, even) to relate to characters who are so morally bankrupt. My own preferences are showing...I like it when the MCer is pretty clearly corrupt and horrible.

I have to admit, though, I'm pleased you posted your critique - it establishes that you went away thinking about the story (even though your thought was 'wow, I really didn't like that') and examined it for a while after the reading was over. Even if none was intended, it's impossible for me as a writer not to take that as a compliment. Thank you for taking the time to post your thoughts...and thank you for thinking on it so thoroughly.

[raven]

Part 2 had some good parts to it, but was also a bit of a miss for me as well, and I was surprised as I generally like a corrupt mc'er. I think it was similar, where I didn't care about anyone, even the victims. Also though, Chuck was so powerless and lame that he didn't come across as anything more than a tool (in more ways than one) so you couldn't connect with him as much.

[T5Medici]

Not every story is a favorite but I like following them all anyway. Stories I might not like in the beginning might end up taking a direction I like. And it is possible that some liked stories won't progress in a direction that I like. That's why I follow all of them! It's possible that a Part 3 could revive the story and it's also possible that either Part 2 or Part 3 will bury it. I guess we'll just have to see when it gets there.