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Author Topic: Writer, looking for feedback  (Read 2838 times)
SDPunk
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Two Star Sneetch
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Posts: 39


« on: April 04, 2021, 10:00:40 am »

I not seeing anywhere else this really fits. So here goes.

When I’m not breathlessly waiting for Dahpne and Octavia’s next update, I’m a novelist and short story writer. I tend to write horror and science fiction, though lately I lean more toward horror.

That said someone proposed a story idea where the person being mind controlled is not only willing, but an enthusiastic participant in their mind control, before mind control starts. This got me thinking about how it would work. Which is what usually starts me writing.

This will result in a mind controller who is concerned with the ethical ramifications of mind control, which will eat up some words as those ethics are discussed. So yes, smut with ethics in it. Consider yourself warned.

If I were forced to put EMCSA or ASSTR tags on this it would (so far) include MC and MF. It will likely contain some MMF and some FFM before I wrap it up. Mind control will likely run the gamut of fun sexy times to complete personality alteration and erasure.

I’m about eight thousand words into what I’m expecting will run 15-20k. If you are interested in alpha reading please post a way to link you to a google doc you can comment on or pm me with a way to link you to a google doc you can comment on.

What I’m interested in:
  • alpha readers to give me feedback on what they think of the story so far.  
  • alpha readers to give me feedback on characters.
  • alpha readers to give me feedback on sex scenes, as I don’t write a ton of them and could use more perspectives.
  • copy and line edits to catch my grammatical and typographical errors. I use punctuation for pacing and rhythm as well as grammar, so you may offer a correction and I may ignore it because I want the reader to get a particular rhythm from the writing.
  • I’m totally ok with being told something doesn’t work. Please tell me why it doesn’t work for you. You are welcome to tell me how you think it should be fixed. Please don’t be hurt if I don’t use your solution. My stories and characters tend to have a lot going on beneath the surface that drives them to act the way they do
  • feedback like more sex, specific fetishes, or specific ways mind control is used. Right now I’m pushing myself to work more explicit sex into the story, but since it isn’t my usual genre, I suspect I may move to the next part of the plot when I should extend the sex scene, or I may not make it explicit enough, or I may do both wrong.

What I’m not interested in (yet):
  • story editing, I know where this is going and until the whole thing is done, I’m not taking feedback on the story.
  • suggestions about ways to change characters, change the mechanics of mind control, etc. This is related to story editing. I may take your suggestions, but I’m not likely to. So please don’t be upset if I don’t change something you think needs changing. It may not work with how the rest of the story unfolds.
  • random pronouncements, this includes but is not limited to: this sucks, you suck, kill yourself before you write more, etc. I’ve heard it all before. I don’t care and worry for your general well being and mental health. Don’t waste your time on someone who is just going to pity you for being forced to live in your own skull.

I’ve saved this, so if it’s in the wrong part of the forum, please let me know where to move it, and I will.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2021, 10:30:35 am by SDPunk » Logged
Daphne
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Five Star Sneetch
*****
Posts: 4385


Drawn and Quartered.


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« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2021, 10:03:33 am »

If you are not already, definitely sign up to the MC Forum; there are a lot of writers there, and the writing forum there is designed for just such a thing!
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DO NOT SEND ME PMs. JUST DON'T. ALWAYS SEND QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS OR REQUESTS TO: orders@mindcontroltheatre.com. Thank you.
SDPunk
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Two Star Sneetch
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Posts: 39


« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2021, 11:54:07 am »

Done, thank you!
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