I think you're misreading the horror and smguness in both situations. I think Erin's friends from her crew were sad that she was moving 1500 miles away, not that she was going into danger. As to how much the smirking blackshirt actually knew, we haven't covered that yet.
I think Charlotte and Mommy Dearest were upset because Mallory dared to go against the family wishes (Charlotte who was locked into Tulane was probably disappointed that Mal wouldn't be there; Mal's mother disapproved because Mal refused to cooperate with the life path she'd already set out for her). It's possible that soem rumors of Wilmot are out there, and maybe a couple of these people have friends of friends of friends who share whispers about Wilmot, but this feels more like disappointment, loss, and the foiled desire to control than genuine fear. Of course, I could be wrong.
I have advanced at other points (or thought I had) a theory that Adrian's ex was controlling him with suggestion or was under the mesmeric control of her new boyfriend when she broke Adrian's heart, problematizing the idea of a harem for Adrian. Maybe some or all of this is true. Maybe none of it. We don't know what Adrian's qualms are because he hasn't been in a situation to open up to anyone about it yet. Maybe this is forthcoming. Maybe it will be important in a contest between the perfume(s) and The Watch. *braces against PK's Beast Growl* "Then again, maybe not."
