Geo
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« Reply #135 on: May 14, 2014, 08:04:18 pm » |
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Try this. It's something I was working on for another site before I lost interest in working with them.
Remote Confusion by William Pratt Chapter 1 Cover: Madison looks haughty. She sneers and rolls her eyes. Her breasts look about to tear their way out of her blouse and diamond viewing holes have been pulled open between the buttons. MADISON Rick’s girls? Ghod! If women were supposed to have boobs that big they would come stock with silicone. Characters: Neil Decent looking guy with medium-length brown hair. About 5'11" Reasonably fit, but trending towards skinny. Probably would have no problems meeting women with more care and attention. Slim, rectangular wire-framed glasses. Bit of an acne problem. Madison Elegant-looking daughter of much money. Well dressed, well coifed. Blonde, shoulder length hair that is immaculately styled. Icy blue eyes. Has a soft, slender build that says she’s probably never worked a day in her life and gets by on lucky genetics that probably won’t last past 30. A leggy 5'8" and barely a B-cup. Around here that would probably be a doom her to irrelevance, but among normal folk, she’s a knock-out.
Page 1 Characters: Neil Panel 1 Rick’s room. The room is a bit of a mess. Not a disaster, but the room of someone with better things to do than put away clothes. The clean ones are piled on the end of his bed. The dirty strewn around the floor. Fortunately Rick doesn’t have that many clothes. Books are also spread about. Oddly enough his desk is clean. On the desk is a stack of books on quantum mechanics and string theory. Looks like Rick has been up to some heavy research. Beside the books is the remote. Rick’s not there. NEIL Rick? Hey, Rick? Panel 2 Neil steps into the room. He looks around. Neil is dressed in a Dream Theatre concert t-shirt and a pair of jeans. His socks are both white but don’t quite match. NEIL You seen the remote? NEIL Rick? Panel 3 Neil pushes at a pair of jeans on the floor with his toe. NEIL Probably off boffing one of those big-boobed bimbos of his. NEIL Lucky bastard. Panel 4 Neil looks at the stack of books. NEIL Quantum Physics and Relativity? The principles of Quantum Mechanics? NEIL What the hell are you reading? Panel 5 Neil spots the remote control NEIL Well son of a bitch. NEIL He did have it.
Page 2 Characters: Neil Panel 1 Main room at the dorm. The TV is a decent size, about a 40 inch LCD. It sits on a wooden stand built for the mass of much older and larger TVs. Two couches, one a three seater and the other a two, form a wing with a gap in the middle. Behind the couches is a table and rudimentary cooking area with fridge, oven and stove. Neil sits on three seat couch in front of the TV. He has a puzzled expression on his face. He is looking at the remote. NEIL No, this is definitely not for the TV. NEIL A spiral. A horn. What the hell is this button for? NEIL Looks like a cross between a dick and an arrow. Panel 2 Neil points the remote at the TV and presses a button. The TV shows a long shot down onto two American football teams lined up and ready for the snap. NEIL (THOUGHT) Well, this one is either volume up or next channel. Panel 3 Neil sits stiffly erect. The TV is twice the size. On the TV, the quarterback protects the ball and looks downfield for a receiver. NEIL What the hell? ANNOUNCER And Tracy is scanning downfield Panel 4 The TV is now enormous, taking up most of the wall. A receiver runs and looks back over his shoulder with his hand up to make a catch. A defender is almost on him. If he makes the catch he won’t be going far. NEIL Rick, DUDE! What have you been working on? ANNOUNCER He lets go and it’s deep. This could be the play they’ve been waiting for all season!
Page 3 Characters: Neil, Madison Panel 1 Receiver is about to get flattened by the defender. There is a red dot on the side of the defender. ANNOUNCER Anderson has it! And Darrow has him! Panel 2 Defender collapses to the ground clutching at his groin, his now-enormous balls crushed by his cup. His penis is about a foot long and plainly visible down the inside of his leggings. Receiver races for the end zone. ANNOUNCER I have no idea what just happened. ANNOUNCER It looks like Darrow just pulled his groin. Panel 3 Neil sits staring at the TV, stunned. Madison stands behind him staring at the TV, but her stare is more of the “Where the hell did that come from” variety. Madison is dressed in a white blouse; a skirt that’s a little on the short side, but not slutty; a pair of running shoes MADISON Neil! Oh my god! The TV! Panel 4 Neil Twists in his seat to looks over his shoulder back at Madison. NEIL You know those girls of Rick’s? Panel 5 Madison rolls her eyes. MADISON Do I?
Page 4 Characters: Neil, Madison Panel 1 Madison sighs. How could Neil be so stupid as to think those girls could be all natural? If Madison could roll her eyes any further they would come up on the bottom. Neil has turned and is sitting sideways on the sofa. He looks dead serious. NEIL I don’t think they always looked like that. MADISON No duh. You think maybe implants had something to do with it? Panel 2 Neil looks down at the remote. Madison spits “What?” and looks confused. NEIL No I think Rick did it. MADISON Rick? What? How? Panel 3 Close-up on Neil. He mugs for the camera. Panel 4 Neil pints the remote at Madison and presses a button. NEIL Something like this.
Page 5 Characters: Neil, Madison Panel 1 Madison looks at Neil, puzzled. Her breasts are now larger, somewhere in the C-cup range. MADISON Huh? Panel 2 Madison looks down in horror at her breasts as buttons fly from her blouse. Double-D cleavage fills the gap left by the departed buttons. MADISON Stop! Staaaahp! Panel 3 Perky G-cup breasts have shoved her bra down and her blouse out of the way and jut from her chest toward the reader. Madison would be looking at the reader if her eyes weren’t closed. Her face seems to be asking if the reader sees what she’s seeing. MADISON I’m imagining things. This isn’t real. I’ll open my eyes and... Panel 4 Madison looks down at her volleyball-sized breasts. MADISON Oh god.
Page 6 Characters: Neil, Madison Panel 1 Madison glares at Neil. She looks seriously pissed. MADISON I do not know how you— Panel 2 Madison’s eyes glow red. Her face is expressionless. MADISON I am yours to command, Master. Panel 3 Neil sits and stares at Madison. Madison stands stiffly and is expressionless. NEIL Master? Wha...? NEIL Maddy? Are you... uh... OK? Panel 4 Madison stands stiffly and is expressionless. Neil face-palms. MADISON Your slave is fine, Master. NEIL And I am so fucked when you wake up. Panel 5 Madison still looks like she is in a hypnotic daze, but she licks her lips hungrily. MADISON Yes Master. Your slave will fuck you when she wakes up. NEIL Oh man. I’m dead. Unless... NEIL Madison, you love having huge boobs.
Page 7 Characters: Neil, Madison Panel 1 Madison looks like she did on page 6 panel 1. MADISON Did that— Panel 2 Madison gives the reader a smokey, lust-filled gaze. She plays with her nipples. MADISON But I love it! Panel 3 Madison poses to give the reader and Neil a profile shot of her jutting breasts and aroused nipples. MADISON Oh my god, they are sooooo sexy! MADISON What do you think, Neil? Panel 4 Madison leans into Neil, shoving her breasts into his face. MADISON Want to play with them?
Page 8 Characters: Neil, Madison Panel 1 Madison’s expression is one of orgasmic rapture as Neil cups a breast in both hands and licks at a swollen nipple. MADISON Uh! Uh! Oh gaaaawd! MADISON (THOUGHT) Why is this so... good? Panel 2 Madison and Neil are both topless. Madison is on top of Neil on the couch. She is moaning and writhing in ecstasy as Neil plays with and sucks on her breasts. MADISON Oh yes. Oh please. Oh yes. Oh please... MADISON (THOUGHT) Ohhhh! I have to... To FUCK him! Panel 3 Madison looks relaxed and happy in post-climax bliss. Her eyes are closed and her lips are smiling and talking. MADISON That feels soooo good, but we need to... We should.... MADISON Oh GAWD! We should fuck! I.. Panel 4 Madison’s eyes snap wide open. She looks horrified by what she just let happen and where she’s headed. MADISON Omigod. wadd’re we doing? MADISON I’ve got a boyfriend, Neil! Panel 5 Madison’s face is expressionless. MADISON I am yours to command, Master.
Page 9 Characters: Neil, Madison Panel 1 Madison’s face is expressionless. Neil waves his hand on front of her face as if to test just how deep she has gone. NEIL Madison? MADISON Yes Master? NEIL Have you ever seen any porn? Panel 2 Madison looks at Neil, giving him a hungry, slutty gaze. Her body no longer looks as soft, she looks like she exercises regularly, training for the pornolymics. MADISON But he never made me feel this.... Panel 3 Neil’s PoV. Madison licks her lips seductively. Her eyes glitter and she radiates sex like she’s gone into nympho overdrive. MADISON This HORNY! MADISON Oh gawd I wanna ... Wanna...! Panel 4 Neil sits on the sofa with his pants down around one ankle. Madison is on her knees between Neil’s legs. Her head bobs hungrily on Neil’s dick. MADISON Mmmmmm! Muv Mock! Mucking muv mock!
Page 10 Characters: Neil, Madison Panel 1 Madison is on her hands and knees on the sofa. She looks back over her reader’s side shoulder at Neil behind her. Neil is about to insert his cock into her. MADISON Be careful, Kay? This is my ffffff— Panel 2 Neil thrusts forward. Madison’s breasts rock. Her eyes are wide with surprise, and she is screaming with pleasure. MADISON Fuhhhhk! Oh gawd! Fuck me! FUCK ME! Panel 3 Madison straddles Neil’s waist. Her breasts and hair bounce as she rides him. Her eyes glisten and she give s the reader a look that says he could be next. Neil points the remote at himself. MADISON More! More! More! More! NEIL Ok. Sure.
Panel 4 Madison’s head is thrown back and her mouth is a gaping, panting hole. She is still straddling Neil, except now Neil’s dick is glowing red and much larger and thicker, spreading Madison’s labia. MADISON Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Panel 5 Neil is missionary style atop Madison on her back on the floor. Her legs are wrapped around his waist and her nails claw into his back. Neil isn’t much bigger, but his musculature is now toned like a model’s. NEIL I could really get to like this. MADISON So could I! Fuck me harder! MADISON Fuh-fuck me like I’m your Puh-personal Pornstar. Panel 6
Page 11 Panel 1 Madison snuggles into Neil. She looks awesomely contented. MADISON Wow. Those bimbos of Rick’s really had the right idea. MADISON Who knew? Panel 2 Madison lifts her head up to look at Neil better. Neil is unconscious, fucked into an exhausted coma. MADISON Was it good for you, too? MADISON Looks like. Giggle. Panel 3 Madison is bent over beside the sofa, pulling her panties up her legs. Panel 4 Madison’s blouse is done up as well as it can with half the buttons gone and her tits hanging out. Panel 5 Neil snoozes away. Madison is bent over him, sucking his cock.
Page 12 Panel 1 Neil is still asleep. Madison stands beside him, towering over him, holding the remote. MADISON Well if that didn’t wake you, guess you won’t mind if I borrow this! Panel 2 Madison looks the remote over. Panel 3 Madison looks down at the sleeping Neil. Panel 4 Madison’s eyes narrow. Panel 5 Madison is sucking on Neil’s cock again, but this time it’s only the tip because his dick looks to be about a foot long and proportionally thick.
Page 13 Panel 1
MADISON Giggle! I’m such a slut! LACY Madison! What happened to you? MADISON This. LACY Maddy? Like, omigawd! LACY Lacy look all slutty an’ stuff! LACY Giggle! Lacy can’t think goodly. Brain all fuzzy. MADISON Like your head is stuffed full of cotton candy? LACY Like yah! Totally! MADISON Well, that explains this button. MADISON Wanna fuck? LACY Giggle! Lacy always wanna fuck!
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