Mind Control Comics Forum

Anyone else kind of annoyed when Daffyd just randomly envisions someone naked.  Is this supposed to be a power given to him by the book, or a product of his imagination?  If it's the former, then I don't think it's properly explained, if it's the latter   it's pretty unnecessary since he already has the power to control women.  I think it also removes an element of suspense so when we do see these women naked in the reality of the story it doesn't feel earned.  I mean if you just wanted to show the reader that he's perving out on these women, there are much subtler ways of showing that.  Anyway, great story so far, can't wait to hear more.

Well, we have two options:

1. The book was written long before women started wearing clothes that hugged their figures. Indeed, it might well have been written in a time when women wore clothes that largely concealed what their actual figures were. Thus, the ability to scope out the merchandise before buying, at it were, would be invaluable.

2. Daffyd is a horny young man who spends a lot of time wondering what chicks look like with their clothes off, or in the case of Annie reminding himself what a nice rack she has sans bra. I realize that, compared to the existence of a book which grants the power to cause women to let you fuck them up the ass, this is highly implausible, but perhaps we can suspend our disbelief here.

Glad you liked the story! :)

Well i don't see it as an issue of plausibility at all, I see it as an issue of aesthetics.  As I said before it denies suspense.  I mean I can totally relate to Daffyd's character 100%, I want to find out what these women look like naked, but it kind of spoils it that he somehow already knows EXACTLY what every woman around him looks like naked.  Sort of like if someone told you what all your presents are going to be on Christmas morning minutes before you got a chance to open them.  I Just didn't think it added anything to the story.  I mean the guy's already living a fantasy what's the point of him fantasizing?  It's like if Frodo, Aragorn, and Gandalf took a break from their quest for the ring so they could go LARPing.

I did like what was done in the first scene with Tari.  The POV shot of her cleavage on the first page, the segmented POV on the first page giving the impression that he's looking her up and down.  It teases, it titillates, it builds suspense for the story, and it tells the reader a lot about the protagonist.

Now I also acknowledge that as a work of erotica (is it safe to use the "P" word here?) there is a responsibility on the part of the author to come through with the goods, so to speak.  I mean I like seeing naked ladies and as many as possible, but I'm more intrigued by the context.

Okay I know it probably sounds like I'm coming down pretty hard on the story, but I'm a grad student, it's kinda what we do.

No


No

 

Yes

Hey Guys, WE all fantasize about what women look like nude, and if they have a good to GREAT tits, that's even more to appreciate.

Our BOOB fetish comes from when we were breast fed(some as in my case were bottle babies), so when we MEN fantsize about how women look nude, it is a compliment to ALL the ladies out there, no matter how they look, I can speak for myself here, I appreciate ALL women, no matter how they look, they are ALL Beautiful!!!

  I would like to see a 3 on this storeline.

I think the issue is settled by the appearance of Skeletor in the 5th chapter. :D